The Fix Is In

Over the weekend, baseball history was made with eleven first-time starters voted into next week's All-Star game. Unfortunately, what should be a watershed moment in the lore of our national pastime has been ruined by Republican corruption.

This season, Mark Teixeira emerged as a credible candidate for the starting job at first base. On the face of things, Teixeira's election was an easy one, as he cruised to victory by more than half a million votes. But Teixeira's election was hardly a fair vote, as evidenced by his connection to the Texas Rangers, and in turn to its former owner and our current president George W. Bush.

The voting record bears out the damning evidence of vote tampering, if not outright voter fraud. First of all, Teixeira was lucky in that he was aided by vote splitting, as the northeast vote was split between Kevin Millar and Tino Martinez. The lack of unification among the voters in New England and New York was a great help to Teixeira. Secondly, exit polls showed that that Millar may have drawn up to 20% of the 1B vote in Texas, but once the ballots were counted, he only garnered 45 000 total votes in the Bush family's home state. Potentially hundreds of thousands of Millar votes have gone unaccounted for, and with ballot box irregularities reported in Houston, Lubbock and Montague counties, the evidence of tampering is too obvious to ignore. Indeed, White House fingerprints are currently staining many a ballot box in more than one Texas ballpark.

Furthermore, the All-Star rosters were to be announced at 7PM Sunday on E$PN. However, at 6:57 PM that same night, Fox News made their own announcement and declared that certain American Leaguers had been elected to their positions before that information had been confirmed by E$PN. In addition, the employee at Fox News who gave the official go-ahead to reveal these results on air just happened to be the fourth cousin twice removed of the president's grand-uncle's illegitimate son Hezekiah H. Bush.

The sad thing is, Teixeira is a worthy All-Star candidate who might have been elected even without GOP interference. Now we'll never know what might have happened in a fair election. However, it's just like Karl Rove to organize this sort of scam while the country's attention is diverted toward George W. Bush's role in the upcoming G8 meeting in Edinburgh. Shame! Shame on you, Mr. Bush.

The National League has not been exempt from these types of shady backroom deals with prominent baseball-affiliated neocons. Roger Clemens wields tremendous influence in the baseball commissioner's office due to his well-publicized connections within the NRA. Concerted lobbying by Clemens and high-ranking NRA officials in the Houston-area resulted in Roy Oswalt's inclusion on the "Last Man" ballot, ahead of more deserving non-partisan candidates such as the Cardinals' Matt Morris. Over the weekend, I paid an unannounced visit to Clemens' Houston home to demand answers from the gun-toting future Hall of Famer. Sadly, I had forgotten about the Astros' road trip to Cincinnati, and was therefore unable to speak with Mr. Clemens. However, on my way out, I left a photograph of Matt Morris in his mailbox. Mr. Clemens' actions carry heavy consequences, causing real hurt to real people. Perhaps once he looks at that photo and gazes into the eyes of Matt Morris, he will start to understand this. Where has your humanism gone, Mr. Clemens? Shame!

Congratulations to the thousands of you who faxed, called, and wrote to Bud Selig's office to voice your objections to the decidedly corrupt All-Star Game voting process. Thanks to hard-working citizens such as yourselves, the integrity of our country's national pastime is not lost. Rest assured that your voice is being heard in the hallowed halls of the baseball commissioner's office. The Republicans know that we're onto their tricks, and they're running scared. Your efforts to reunite the game of baseball with its lost pride will never be forgotten.