The Diary of Zack Greinke

Editor's Note: Kansas City Royals starter Zack Greinke has been keeping a regular diary throughout the 2005 season. The sixth pick of the 2002 draft, Greinke made his Major League debut last May. At the age of 20 years, 7 months, and one day, Greinke was the youngest active player in the majors. He finished 2004 with a record of 8-11, a 3.97 ERA, and 100 Ks in 145 IP.

MARCH 16: Baseball is fun! Spring Training is fun! I am having a good time with my teammates, getting ready for the new Major League Baseball season. Coach says we have a good chance at doing well - he thinks our lineup will be better with Terrence Long in the outfield, and Tony G (cant spell his last name) in the infield, and Mike Sweeney leading our attack. And Calvin Pickering is very fat but people call him Big Boned or Massively Challenged and he hits homeruns when he does not strike out so he might do good too! I guess some people want me to pitch really well. So do I! I had lots of fun pitching last year. It was pretty easy but sometimes it was hard too. Baseball is a team game and even if I pitch well I will need help from my teammates to win. I also need to help my teammates when they cannot help me. I have to give a hundred! And ten percent too! This is the best part of the season getting ready for the season except when we win which I like a lot too! Coach said I should just have fun and I will always be a winner. Coach is great!

APRIL 7: Ouch! A Detroit Tiger hit me on the arm with a ball! It hurt a lot! Still, I wanted to stay out there and "be a man" like Mike Sweeney but Coach told me he wanted me to come out. I felt bad because I let my teammates down but Coach said it was OK because things happen and you can only do what you can and we will get them next time. We lost but that was OK. Coach took me to McDonalds with his best lady friend! I got a Big Mac a large fry a large Coke (yum!) and an Apple Pie too. Pop always makes me eat veggie tables and fiber so this was lots of fun! I was full! Coach's friend was really nice but when I asked where Mrs. Coach was Coach did not say anything and bought me another Apple Pie. I always have room for Apple Pie! Thanks Coach!

APRIL 23: I had a good game! I made the White Sox look silly. Coach says I change speeds really well and pitch beyond my age which is very good I guess! It is not so hard though. I just throw away from their bats and then throw what they don't expect. I made Jermaine Dye lose his bat when I threw a deuce ball. He missed it by about 50 miles! That was fun! One of the Chicago announcers tried to talk to me about golf. He had a big nose, and his breath smelled like sour milk, and he talked real fast, and then would YELL really loud. He scared me. Coach chased him off with a baseball bat. Pop would not do that. Pop would probably ask for an autograph and a picture and then make me play golf with him while he yelled HEGONE and FLYBALL and YYYYYYYYES and other stupid smelly milk things. Coach would never do that to me. He would let me stay in the park and eat Apple Pies from McDonalds and mess up my hair and call me G-Unit. Coach is great!

MAY 15: Pitching is fun! I am pitching really well but I am sad for our team because we are losing lots of games. I do not have a win yet but that is OK because I am doing my best and Coach said I can not do anything else more than what I can. Coach told me to keep on doing what I am doing and the wins will come to me and us. Then Jose Lima came over and started yelling in that funny language. And Coach yelled right back at him. I saw Coach talking to Mrs. Jose Lima earlier. Maybe that is why they are yelling? I do not like yelling usually but they sound funny when they do it! I laughed a lot! I also heard that Mrs. Coach was not happy with Coach but I think people are making things up because we are not winning baseball games. Pop was going to fly in and see the game but he got sidetracked by work stuff. That is what he told me. He always has to work. I wish Pop was more like Coach. We are going to go to play the National League soon. This should be fun because we only play American League teams. I can not wait!

MAY 19: I saw Coach kissing his best lady friend! A lot! And touching in bad places! I caught them in the locker room before the game and I started crying because Coach should not be kissing anyone except for Mrs. Coach and Coach tried to tell me that sometimes these things happen but I do not want to hear that because Coach should not do things like that and not tell Mrs. Coach or do those things with someone that is not Mrs. Coach and I told Coach this and he tried to hug me and call me G-Unit and I pushed him away and I ran out of the locker room because I did not want Coach to see me not "be a man". I am not happy with Coach right now. I hate the National League.

MAY 20: I hate the National League.

MAY 22: Coach quit today. I am happy Coach is gone. Mrs. Coach does not deserve to be treated like that. I am angry at Coach. Coach sucks. I hope our new Coach is better.

MAY 31: I got a win! I got a win! Against the Yankees! They are the best baseball team of all time! And I beat them! That is great! Especially for our team because we lost six in a row after we won our first game after Coach left. New Coach is OK. He is very different from Coach. He spits a lot more. And he does not talk funny. He is kind of dull. I heard from some people that he is really not a good Coach and his teams do not do well. But I heard from some people on the team that he is a very good Coach so I hope he can teach us how to win. I heard he coached in Colorado. That must be hard to do! But New Coach is not Coach so he is OK. And I got a win! I won eight times last year. Maybe I can beat that this year!

JUNE 10: I hate the National League.

JUNE 16: I think New Coach hates me and made the team hate me because I liked Coach so much. Or maybe they hate me because they think I made Coach leave and now they hate New Coach and blame me for New Coach. Last time I pitched my team did not score until after I left the game. And then it happened again in this game. I pitched OK even though I threw the ball a lot more than I should have but then I left with us losing and then they scored lots of runs right after I leave. I heard somebody tell someone that the team lost 12 games that I pitched! Maybe they always hated me? When I was pitching well the team was losing and now that I am not pitching well the team is winning. Maybe I am the reason the team is so bad? Before I got here last year the team did really really well. And now the team is losing a lot to everyone else and we are in last place. I would ask someone but I do not think they will talk to me. Coach always talked to me.

JUNE 21: I hate pitching. It sucks. Everything I throw gets hit a lot and I even get scored on when I am not pitching. I hate New Coach. It sucks. He sucks. He might be winning but he is stupid. I do not think he likes me very much. I miss Coach. I miss going to McDonalds. I do not like the post game spread. Cold cuts suck. Even though we are winning more games with New Coach I am not happy. No one on the team likes me. They do not talk to me anymore especially when I pitch bad. They talk on their phones about going to play somewhere else. I think it is my fault we are so bad even though we won more games with New Coach than with Coach. And the scary man that smells like bad milk from Chicago keeps on talking to me. And New Coach does not chase him away with a baseball bat so I will have to play golf with him and hear stories about how good he was and how big his nose is. He laughs like he is farting out of his mouth and it smells like farts too. Like smelly milk farts. I hate baseball. I want to go home. And I can not talk to Pop on the phone to take me home because he is busy talking to companies about shoes and sports drinks and fungus powder and things that he says will make me lots of money but I do not care about money. Pop answer the phone. Please answer the phone Pop. I want to go home.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel so bad for Greinke...

3:18 AM


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