All Eyez on Me

Upon reading Mr. Davis' article, businessman and philanthopist George Soros has asked Yard Work for a chance to respond. E$PN has agreed to allow him that chance.

When I was a teenager living in Budapest, Hungary was overrun by Nazis. As a Jew, I was forced into hiding for a year. I will never forget the terror that pervaded the air in 1944, the constant fear that someone, somewhere, would go behind my back, behind all our backs, and turn us over to those butchers. And I will never forget the relief we felt when the Allies, led by the United States of America, prevailed.

I live in the U.S. now, a proud American who happens to love the Constitution written so many years ago. In that document are codes that provide for the greatest country the world has ever known. The actual greatness of America can only be measured by how closely we hew to those codes. I am sorry to say this, but Representative Tom Davis seems to have lost sight of the vision of our founding fathers. He hates the freedoms I love, and loves the tyranny I hate. His arguments are specious, inaccurate, barely literate, and based fully on his right wing Christianist agenda instead of in the law of this land.

Also, he just wants to cock-block me because I did his old lady a couple of years ago and he found out about it. Haha, sucker, can't NO ONE compete with my smoove old-world accent, my full head of cute white hair, my good manners, and my eleven billion freaking dollars. So let's just get that bizness out of the way.

Listen, if I was wearing the horns like T-Dizzle, I'd be mad too. Old girl is probably still bending his ear about how much better I was than he is. I had to put a restraining order out just to get her to stop calling. It's like Prince said: "I may be qualified for a one-night stand / But I could never take the place of your man." Except I could; I just don't want to. Better or worse, Lonesome George gotta be free.

There IS, in fact, a political agenda here -- but it's almost too sad to mention. Let's face it: George W. Bush is dead like Biggie, with a political approval rating that is slightly under Jose Reyes' OBP. His legacy will continue to tank, Joe Budden-like, for years, smelling up the fundie dream with a stank no air freshener can dent. Davis and his fellow geepies know this, and they're casting around for a post-prez gig for their boy. And you know what that gig is, right?

Hint: Selig is a marked man as of 2008. Something's gonna "happen." Copy and paste THAT into your blogs, suckaz.

So you really think they're gonna welcome me with leis and luaus? You think they want an opinionated brother like me in their little game, with a fat pocketbook to match? Hellz naw, they're about as far away from that as K Solo is from a comeback. They're gonna throw up every obstacle they can, block a playa from playin like an incompetent grounds crew with a wonky tarp. Hey, I saw this coming, saw it from the jump, scoped that booty like a big game hunter.

But I ain't goin' out like that. I got a plan, I got posse in Cooperstown, I got my cousins, I got the whole streets locked. You want war, you done effed with the wrong Hungarian.

So bring the pain, Tom Davis. If you fittina go to war, you better bring all the guns you got, and you better bring your whole family to fire 'em. Yeah, and tell your wife to wear something nice. Lonesome George just bought Viagra.

George Soros is one of the world's wealthiest men. He is one of the major contributors to MoveOn.org and many other liberal causes. He also made $1 billion in one day by placing a hedge bet in 1986 that Great Britain would devalue the pound sterling. ONE BILLION IN ONE DAY IS NO F***ING JOKE.


Blogger rumbaugm said...

I don't know who you are or how you keep coming up with this stuff, but you are a genius. Keep up the good work. I look at this site and laugh and laugh and laugh.

9:20 AM

Anonymous mike said...

this one is especially awesome.

7:06 PM


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