Set Our Game Free
Editor's Note: Congressman Tom Davis (R-VA) has come under fire for reportedly using his position to prevent Democratic activist George Soros from joining a bid to purchase the Washington Nationals. The Congressman requested that he be allowed to make his case directly to baseball fans, and we agreed.
It has been said that America is a melting pot, and our society is a soup of nationalities, religions and ethnicities. That's something that we see even in this fine chamber, as there are members of congress of many colors, not to mention the janitorial staff. America is a place of dreams, where a nobody can achieve everything he has ever dreamt, and where happiness is just one major political donation away.
But soups have a lot of different ingredients, and some of them taste better than others. I like chicken noodle soup myself, and tomato soup as well. My wife also makes a great fish stew, using catches from Virginia's own Chesapeake Bay, the same waters that brought our founding fathers to this great land so that they could quell the Indian insurgency.
Major League Baseball is the American pastime, and another melting pot. Major League Baseball Soup has changed much over time: now it has some tacos, Canadian bacon and even sushi, giving it a zesty flavor that I personally detest, but others seem to enjoy. And that's fine. This is a big country.
But now liberals want to spoil our national pastime. Liberals want to throw out the whole bowl of soup and replace it with a bowl of marijuana. That's what would happen to baseball if registered Communist George Soros — who, like that rat Durbin, has compared our Commander in Chief and brave military forces to Nazi cannibals — is allowed to purchase the Washington Nationals. With Francs, no less.
George Soros has said in the past that he favors distributing marijuana in school cafeterias. He is in favor of giving heroin to the elderly, and crystal methamphetamine to hamsters. And, naturally, the Washington Post, New York Times and the rest of the liberal media support him. They don't report these policies of his of course. No, they just talk about Nobel Peace Prizes, as if they mean anything after known terrorist Yassar Arafet won one and suspected terrorist Jimmy Carter was nominated for another.
Worst of all, that liberal Soros wants to replace the traditional baseball cap with a beret. Can you imagine that? I can practically hear New York and San Francisco erupt in applause at the very idea. Such a move would turn Major League Baseball into yet another arm of the homosexual mafia that seeks to convert children to their sodomizing ways in an attempt to destroy the American family and shame us all in the eyes of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
Like all good Americans — and, don't forget, George Soros isn't one — I am not willing to cede my country to people like him. Look on our currency, listen to our Pledge of Allegiance, look at our Constitution, look in your Bible: this is a country of the Lord, not atheist liberals who want to erase the very knowledge of our Savior Jesus Christ from our memories and replace Him with Karl Marx.
So I urge Congress to pass a law banning George Soros and any other liberal from purchasing the Washington Nationals, especially when an honorable man like Fred Malek — who hunted down seditious Jews under Nixon — is waiting. We couldn't save Terri Schiavo from the clutches of liberals, but if we do what's right, we can save Nick Johnson. Thank you, and God bless America.
Tom Davis represents the 11th Congressional District of Virginia